My Hidden Fight
by Kassel Garibay
Summary: Clarke claims she doesn't have time to think about falling in love, she claims that Bellamy doesn't have feelings for her. But somehow the Rebel has found enough time to fall in love with the Princess. Bellarke. [[Cover Art not mine]]


"He is in love with you, you know?" Abigail burst out, trying to stop her daughter from walking out of the medical bay. And she succeeded, Clarke stopped in her feet right before exiting the room, but unlike the first time she heard those words -oh, so long ago when they were about an oh, so different man- she didn't blush. The doctor had been expecting the girl to react the same way as before, with rosy cheeks and asking for more information. _Who is? Is he really?_ The ghost of Clarke's excited voice echoed only in Abby's memories. Clarke just wasn't a girl anymore. Abigail opened her mouth to provide more information, to clear out who she was talking about, but Clarke cuts her off with a humorless laugh. She knows who she is talking about. And she doesn't believe her. "That's stupid. You may have time to make up theories about who is in love with who, but we don't. 47 of us are still inside of Mt. Weather, and thanks to you they will stay there. I don't have time to think about love, nor does Bellamy."

Straightening her jacket Clarke exited the medical bay, leaving her mother with her apologies hanging off her open mouth. Outside, the blonde stumbled in her feet when she found Octavia standing stubbornly right in front of the entrance of the room. Her arms were crossed and the look in her eyes -those eyes that were so alike her brother's, but so different at the same time- made it clear that she had been listening. "You are not in love with my brother?" The phrase was obviously a question, but something about her tone made Clarke take a step backwards. Octavia's voice sounded angry, but above all offended. After a few seconds, which she spent eying the brunette carefully and debating between repeating the same speech she had given to her mother and throwing a fit about her eavesdropping, the blonde pointed with her chin back into the medical bay. "Lincoln has been asking for you."

The princess walked away from Octavia, ignoring her thunderstruck glare and her mother's eyes that were for sure following her too. She was so focused in ignoring both women she didn't notice Bellamy's sad glance as her words echoed in his mind.

* * *

><p>"I really don't get you sometimes." Bellamy muttered, falling into line behind Clarke. The queue was long, and it would take them at least half an hour to get their plate of scarce and cold food, yet the blonde had rejected her mother and the two steamy plates she had offered to the couple. Bellamy's mouth had watered, but one look at his princess made it clear that if he dared accept he'd fall out of her grace even more. Clarke was busy watching her mother disappear into the crowd with a sad look in her eyes, for sure looking for Kane or Jaha to share her hot food with, but Bellamy's words brought her back to the present an she arched an eyebrow to him urging him to continue.<p>

"You are mad at your mother, anyone can see that. You can't even stand to look at her, and every time she suggests something you are strongly against even before she has finished speaking her mind. Yet when we first got here, you defended her so _fiercely_." Clarke shivered, but Bellamy kept going. "Remember? 'The only way the Ark is going to think I'm dead, is if I'm dead'." Bellamy quoted her and he watched the warmth disappear from the princess' eyes. Clarke looked up to him as if she expected him to continue again, but he stopped pushing, merely pointing with his jaw to the queue that had taken two steps forward. Clarke took them and the rebel rouser stayed quiet for a few minutes before opening his mouth, surprising the blonde with a completely different topic. After some minutes he managed to return the light into her eyes and even bring a small smile on her lips, and it was all worth it.

* * *

><p>"Don't shoot!" Octavia's voice dragged Clarke out of her sleep, and as her eyes blinked themselves open the blonde noticed two things: the first, the way the sunlight struck her tent, it's brightness. She had slept in, <em>a lot<em>. The second, the unmistakable sound of guns readying along with the horse's breathing. Pulling her hair into a messy bun and throwing her jacket on top of her wrinkled shirt Clarke stood up and bumped into Bellamy's strong body as he walked inside of her tent, to wake her up for sure. His arms wrapped around her when she stumbled, protecting her from the fall and this time, she did blush. "I'm going." She said, breaking their awkward embrace and walking out of her tent completely to see the Ark's Guard pointing at Lexa and the Grounders, in between Octavia stood fiercely, daring anyone to shoot.

"We come in peace to speak with your leader." Commander Lexa's voice was strong and frankly terrifying, but even like that the Chancellor Abigail Griffin took a step forward, as if to prove her leadership, and after a deep breath she walked among the guard and stopped right in front of Lexa's tall horse. "Not you." The commander spoke again, sounding annoyed. "The one they call Clarke, the Princess of the Sky People." Unable to hide the surprise in her face Abigail searched the crowd for her daughter, who had just enough time to mask her own shock into her usual indifference look. Nodding, Clarke opened her tent, silently asking Lexa to come in. After eying her carefully Lexa descended her horse and, followed by Gustus, made her way into the tent. Bellamy's eyes fell on Clarke's, and without the need of words they nodded simultaneously, walking inside the tent together and allowed it to close behind them.

Of course Lexa's visit had earned her an even harder time with her mother. Lexa's proposal of a peace treaty did not appeal Abby or Kane on the minimal, yet Clarke knew it was the only way they'd manage to get their people out of Mt. Weather. With Bellamy by her side she gave the Sky People an ultimatum, those who followed them at dawn on their way back to the dropship would be at peace with the Grounders, those who accepted Bellamy's and Clarke's leadership would be known as the Sky People, while those who decided to stay at Camp Jaha would be known as the Arkers, and would not tie themselves to the alliance with the Grounders.

Her last exchange with her mother had been far from peaceful, yet Clarke and Bellamy leaded more than half of the population out of Camp Jaha. Watching the fireplace they had built in their new -yet old at the same time- home Clarke sighed. "Do you really want to know why I'm mad at my mother?"

Bellamy did everything in his power to keep himself from gasping, was Clarke Griffin really offering to open up? "Is it because of your father?" With a wince the princess looked away from her co-leader, returning her eyes to the fire. "Do you want to hear the story or not, Blake?" She grumbled, trying to prove both to him and to herself that she was still strong, that even though she was letting him in there was still a line in between them that none were supposed to cross. Chuckling Bellamy smiled relieved to know his fierce princess was still inside there.

"You know why I was locked up, stealing food, but I wasn't stealing it for me, why would I? You were right after all, Wells and I, the elite, we did have it much better than you all did. I met Finn like that, when he was stealing some food for his sick friend. I could have given him away, but something told me not to. So I didn't. Instead I helped him. It became a routine for us, to meet and steal. To take and give away to those in need. He is the one that nicknamed me Princess, but you knew that." Clarke was so lost in her thoughts that didn't register the hurt look in Bellamy's face. _Of course she is still in love with him, you idiot._ The princess and the spacewalker had been a couple from long before Bellamy even laid eyes on her, and he had no right to feel jealous of the sad tone in her voice. But he did. "My mom caught us more than once, but she never did anything to stop us, even though I knew she deeply disapproved of my relationship with him. He was 'below my standards', to quote her." Clarke rolled her eyes, a frown appearing in her forehead again and Bellamy shivered. If one of the Ark's best mechanics was below her, how low could a janitor be? "I just never knew how much she truly hated our relationship. I knew that we had to stop stealing food when he turned eighteen, I knew that it was no longer safe for him. But why would something happen now when it hadn't for the past two years and a half? My mom waited three days after his birthday to give us away. I was locked up right after he was floated."

For the first time in his life Bellamy Blake's mouth hung open without any clue of what to say next, not a witty comment, not a sarcastic remark, not even some reassuring words exited his mouth. Instead he watched Clarke and the silent tears that ran through her face. _Why are you telling me this? Why now? Why me? _He wondered, but he couldn't bring himself to ask. Yet she read his mind like always -almost always, his princess could never read how desperately in love with her he was- and wiped her eyes before smiling halfway, her lips trembling in her attempt. "He would have turned nineteen today." She whispered before walking away.

* * *

><p>Clarke masked her feelings well, but not from Bellamy, not anymore. The war planning sessions with Lexa couldn't make him stop thinking about the Spacewalker's death anniversary coming up soon, and the threat of early winter couldn't shake the sudden anger he felt towards Abigail Griffin. Yet he refused to bring up the subject with the princess. She was far too fragile and far too important to bother with talks of the past. The anniversary went by and Clarke hid from him all day, successfully avoiding any support he tried to offer to her. With Commander Lexa's help Bellamy and Clarke were able to rescue Jasper and the others, but Bellamy couldn't stop thinking on who would rescue the princess from her own demons.<p>

"How could you forgive her? Why would you defend her?" Bellamy asked exasperated one day, the doubt had killed him ever since she had recounted her tale to him. "Why did you insist so hard on us keeping the bracelets? I wouldn't have. Hell, she floated your boyfriend _and _your father. What are you not telling me, Clarke?" Usually, he would have called her 'princess' but now he wondered if she could ever think of someone but Finn when anyone called her like that. Bellamy didn't know what answer to expect from the blonde, but for sure he didn't expect tears to fill her eyes almost immediately.

"Because it is my fault, _this _is my fault." The rebel looked at her confused, taking a step towards her but she quickly took one back. "The 100 were sent to the ground because Life Support was failing, and it was failing because of me." Her grey eyes fell on his and she did her best to keep it together. "I wanted to go spacewalking, and Finn gave that to me on my seventeenth birthday. It was _me_, not him who wasted two months worth of oxygen in an accident. And not only that but I messed up bad, Bell. My father noticed and when he was trying to tell everyone about it Jaha walked in and arrested him. _I killed them both._"

* * *

><p>The dark shadows in her eyes attracted his eyes like magnets every time, until one day Bellamy grabbed both her hands, stopping her from bandaging Monty's arm. "All guards have first aid classes. Let me do it and take a nap, that's an order." He said, making Clarke shiver under the tenderness and sternness of his tone. Without a word she placed the bandage on her co-leader's hand and exited the dropship. Bellamy should have followed the instinct that urged him to follow her, but he didn't, mistaking it by the known longing he felt whenever she walked away from him.<p>

Hours later Lincoln walked into the camp with the fragile figure of princess on his arms, Clarke shivered in her soaked clothes and her hands tightly held the herbs she needed to treat the wound Bellamy had done to himself a few days ago. Octavia kept him out of the dropship as she changed the blonde into dry clothes, but once she was dressed there was no force strong enough to keep him away from his princess. Her pale face only made the purple of her lips more visible, and nor the fire nor the blankets could return the warmth her hands had always possessed. Only at night, when he was positive no one was looking, did Bellamy dare hold her in his arms, desperate to bring her back. Dying to hear her yelling at him for touching her, longing for the slap she would for sure give him. But it didn't come.

* * *

><p>"Her mother is a healer, why didn't you summon her?" Lexa questioned Bellamy as the Grounder's healer hovered above Clarke, treating her. "I don't trust her." The man replied dryly without taking his eyes away from the princess. Bellamy had left Clarke's side for the first time in the three days she had spent unconscious. Her lips were back to pink and her heartbeat was finally strong against his chest when he held her, but nothing he did could bring her back. In a desperate action he had summoned Lexa and her healer, asking for help. The healer looked up from the sleeping beauty and spoke, Bellamy regretted more than ever refusing Lincoln's proposal to teach him how to speak Grounder, and he looked down at the Commander who nodded as the healer walked out of the dropship.<p>

"There is a word in our language,_ SteltGonplei._ Hidden fight." Lexa spoke, her eyes fixated on Clarke before turning around to look Bellamy straight in her eyes. "Her body is alive, but her heart is not. It is her heart, not her body, the one fighting to live. Unless she has something to fight for, you, Bellamy of the Sky People, will have to rule alone."

* * *

><p>"I know what you are thinking of." Bellamy whispered after a silent night of merely holding his princess tight against him, holding his breath after each one of the beats of her heart, fearing there wouldn't be one to follow. "The wall around the dropship is steady, peace with the Grounder's is sealed, our friends are out of Mt. think your fight is over." His fingers closed tighter around hers as he spoke the words he had heard from the Grounders various times. "But it isn't Clarke, don't you see? You think that I can do this, you think that I can keep them safe but I can't. All of that happened because of you, and the only reason I was useful was because I knew it was the way to keep <em>you <em>safe. You are my hidden fight, princess." Bellamy chuckled heartbroken as he realized he had spoken it out loud for the first time in his life, he was in love with Clarke Griffin, the girl whose golden hair caught light under the sun, whose laughter would echo across the Ground making it feel like home. He was madly in love with the girl whose heart was dying just inches away from his. "And I know it's a lot to ask, and I know you are tired. I know I'm a selfish bastard for asking this, Princess. But is it really too much to ask for me to be your hidden fight?"

Of course, it took Clarke a few hours to think over the answer and when her eyes finally blinked themselves open she couldn't help the horrified tone in her weak voice. "Bellamy Blake are you crying? Get your fucking hands off me!" But when his relieved laugh echoed in her chest as he pressed her to him, and his tear-salty lips claimed hers, she did no attempt to push him away. Not that she would ever admit it out loud, but for the longest time she had indeed had time to think about loving Bellamy Blake.


End file.
